“Why will I sabotage my marriage?”
Surely, this question came to mind after seeing the article topic.
You are shocked and wondering why someone would want to sabotage something beneficial to them.
Well, the simple answer to that is; you can sabotage your marriage unconsciously and there are many reasons behind this sort of behavior.
One of the major reasons you may sabotage your marriage is low self-esteem.
Low self-esteem makes you have trust issues which in turn affects your marriage in very drastic ways.
There are other reasons for sabotaging your marriage or a healthy relationship but they all go deeply into the world of psychology.
The essence of this article is to help you identify the symptoms that may indicate self-sabotage in your marriage.
Sometimes, the only thing standing between you and happiness in your marriage is YOU!
If you find yourself exhibiting certain unpleasant habits that could deeply hurt your partner, it’s a sign that you are sabotaging your marriage.
To help you identify all the subtle signs of self-sabotage in your marriage, here are some of the ways you could be sabotaging your marriage
8 Subtle Signs You Are Sabotaging Your Marriage
1. Always picking fights with your partner
It’s impossible for couples to be in a marriage without conflict, occasionally.
However, quarreling over every single matter you don’t agree upon is not a good way to keep a successful marriage.
If you are the type of person that never forgets any errors your partner may have committed, your marriage will end up being fraught with tension.
Sometimes, you should be ready to reach a compromise with your partner, especially if the argument is dragging on for too long.
Even court cases sometimes proffer plea bargains.
Turning your marriage into a warzone over every single perceived slight is a sign that you are sabotaging your marriage.
If you find yourself angry at your partner’s actions, it is important to try to understand it from their perspective before giving vent to your annoyance.
You may just discover that if you were in their shoes, you would have done the same thing.
2. You hide negative feelings from your partner
This is the other extreme of arguing over everything.
You may be hiding negative feelings from your partner because you want to avoid conflict.
This is an act of sabotage in marriage.
Communication is vital for any marriage to succeed.
This is why couples are encouraged to always make an effort to talk to themselves, even about thorny issues.
Nobody said the conversation will be easy or comfortable.
If you hide negative feelings from your partner, how do you expect them to know when they are doing something that annoys you?
This means that you are a big part of the problem in your marriage because your silence about your feelings ensures that the problems affecting your marriage will never be resolved healthily.
You should always express your feelings to your partner in a calm manner that facilitates healthy discussion.
3. You are always jealous
It is normal to feel jealous occasionally when your partner interacts with the opposite sex.
However, if it becomes a habit, you are putting your relationship under severe strain.
When you constantly question your partner’s movements or actions without a specific reason or an actual concern, it may end up hurting your marriage.
All that this sort of behavior brings to the relationship is a sense of mistrust and insecurity.
When insecurity comes in, it becomes obvious that your marriage is in a downward spiral.
If you have reasons to be jealous, talk to your partner and resolve it amicably without accusations flying around.
This is a healthy way to foster a marriage.
4. You spend more time with friends and coworkers
Although the number of hours most people have to officially put into work every week takes a huge chunk out of the time left for other things, you should always make time out for your partner.
If you are spending more time with friends and coworkers at the expense of spending time with your partner, it’s a sign that you are sabotaging your marriage.
Spending quality time with your partner should be the priority for any married couple.
Spending time with friends and coworkers should never take precedence over this.
Don’t get it wrong, you are allowed to have your friends and spend time with them, but it should never be at the expense of spending time with your spouse.
5. You are addicted to your phone
Many people don’t think phone addiction is actually a thing, and those that do, feel it’s better than being addicted to drugs.
This could be true, but it could also be a sabotaging habit to have in a marriage.
It gets even worse when you find that you cannot keep your hands off your phone even while spending “quality time” with your partner.
If you are not even paying attention to your partner, I wonder if that can truthfully be called “quality time.”
Spending quality time with your partner reinforces the bond of your relationship and also helps you create new memories that you may look upon with nostalgia in the years to come.
You may say you can multitask well; however, even while multitasking, you are obviously not completely attentive to your partner.
Doing such regularly has very destructive effects on your marriage.
6. You avoid physical intimacy
One of the major things that separates marriage from just any other friendship is the level of intimacy involved.
Denying intimacy to your partner is something that may occasionally happen in marriage.
However, it shouldn’t be something you do regularly.
Regularly depriving your partner of intimacy is a very destructive habit to have in a marriage.
It gets even worse when you turn denial of intimacy into a weapon during quarrels.
This may just be the way you end up pushing your partner out of the marriage and right into another person’s arms.
Regular denial of sexual intimacy will most likely lead to extramarital affairs, hence, it should be avoided like the plague.
7. Abuse
Abusing your partner in any relationship, whether it’s physical, verbal, or emotional, is a destructive behavior that should never be excused.
It’s important to understand the impact of such behavior on your marriage and take steps to address it.
Consider discussing your situation with a marriage counselor who can provide you with guidance and support.
Therapy sessions and anger management classes may also help you gain control over this destructive impulse.
Nobody deserves to be in an abusive marriage.
8. Cheating
Infidelity is a profoundly harmful action within a relationship and has no place in an ideal marriage.
There may be various reasons behind someone cheating on their spouse.
Nevertheless, regardless of whether it stems from sexual deprivation or not, infidelity is an inappropriate behavior within the sacred bond of marriage.
It is an outright act of sabotage in a marriage and may make your marriage suffer permanent hit when you engage in it.
It serves as a clear indication of undermining the sanctity of the union and damaging the very fabric of the relationship.
Final words:
Every marriage has its trials.
There are highs and lows in every relationship.
However, every partner should be ready to give their all to ensure that their marriage is successful.
A major part of giving your all includes reading this article carefully and honestly asking yourself if you are exhibiting any of the signs above.
If you are, you need to realize that doing those things only makes your marriage worse.
Then, make efforts to change.
Cheers to a future of successful marriages and relationships.