”But why does my husband always make me feel worthless?”
In a loving marriage between two supportive partners, peace, joy, and emotional upliftment are some of the perks enjoyed by the couple.
The harmony experienced in such marriages is better experienced than described.
A look through the various religious books on marriage even points out the fact that God ideally created marriage for that reason.
However, it’s possible to see marriages in which one spouse is suffering and struggling with a constant sense of worthlessness.
When a wife begins to feel a lack of emotional support and connection from/with her husband, life gets miserable for her.
She starts to feel like she can do nothing right in her marriage.
This feeling is not a great one.
It makes you feel like you don’t matter, and you can literally feel the joy of living being sucked out of you.
If you are in such a marriage, you may have a lot of questions running through your mind.
Questions like;
“Why is my husband treating me this way?”
“Could it be that I am doing something wrong to warrant this treatment?”
“What can I do to make things right?”
If these questions are going through your head, then this is the article for you.
This article will show you the possible reasons your husband makes you feel worthless and what you can do.
Why Does My Husband Always Make Me Feel Worthless?
If you are feeling worthless in your marriage as a result of your husband’s actions, here are some of the reasons why he is doing that:
1. He is insecure and jealous
It is sad how sometimes we are the victims of others projecting their feelings on us.
You may be scared that your feeling of worthlessness is from within.
However, it may not be so.
Your husband may be feeling insecure in the relationship.
Perhaps, you were a very attractive young lady with several male friends when he was courting you.
It is possible that he doesn’t feel secure in the marriage because he is comparing himself with the caliber of men that you relate with.
This feeling of insecurity may result in him treating you like you are worthless.
He may also feel threatened by your success and accomplishments in your career, academics, finances, and other aspects of your Life.
2. Your husband may be carrying emotional baggage from past traumatic experiences
Sometimes, your husband’s negative behavior and actions toward you may be a result of emotional traumas from the past.
Your husband may have had traumatic experiences from the past that affected his self-esteem.
This trauma from the past may manifest in hurtful and snide comments to you, making you look worthless and, generally, making a nuisance of himself.
When it is a result of trauma, he may not be intentionally trying to make you feel worthless, but the effect of his words and actions on you always drives you to that point of worthlessness.
3. Your husband may be comparing you with other women
In marriage, one of the biggest errors you can make is comparing your spouse with someone else.
The moment you fall into this pit, you begin to lose satisfaction with anything your partner does because the first that comes to your mind is what the other person will do.
If you are wondering why your husband always makes you feel worthless, it may just be because your husband is comparing you with another woman.
Once he starts doing this, you will realize that nothing you do makes him happy.
He always finds fault with everything you do, and as a result of this, you feel like you don’t matter.
4. Lack of communication
In marriage, lack of communication sets a lot of other things in motion.
Communication is the foundation of every successful marriage, and the moment you begin to feel miserable in your marriage, you need to check the quality of your communication with your husband.
Poor communication can lead to hurtful comments and negative behavior that may fuel your feeling of worthlessness.
This is why good communication is encouraged in relationships.
Not only does it foster trust, but it also helps partners to live in harmony.
5. Emotional abuse
Any list on this subject matter will be incomplete without this.
The fact that your husband may be abusive is the worst-case scenario and the last thing any wife may want to consider.
However, if your husband constantly undermines your self-esteem with his words and actions, it is an option that must be considered.
Emotional abuse can take place in many forms.
It may involve gaslighting, regular criticisms, and public and private humiliation.
If he does all these regularly, your husband may just be abusive.
If that is the case, you should consider seeking help from professionals and informing your friends and family about what you are going through.
6. He’s no longer in love with you
This is a tough point, but it’s a possibility.
Perhaps your husband doesn’t love you as much as he did when the two of you first got together.
Maybe over time, his feelings have changed, and he’s no longer interested in working to make the relationship better.
And because he is too afraid or embarrassed to tell you the truth, he chooses to act in ways that make you feel worthless, hoping that you’ll get the memo.
What To Do When Your Husband Makes You Feel Worthless
It is not just enough to tell you the reason your husband is behaving the way he is; it is also important that you know what to do if you are in such a situation.
Here are some things that you can do if your husband makes you feel worthless:
1. Talk to him
Sometimes, it is easy to conclude that your husband makes you miserable intentionally.
However, you may be wrong.
Rather than concluding that he does it intentionally, you must make him aware of how you feel about some things he does.
Open up to him about how his words and actions make you feel.
This conversation may go a long way in showing him how much he hurts you and making him more conscious of his behavior and words.
2. Focus on your interests and hobbies
When you are miserable in your marriage, life can get a little depressing.
Instead of getting sucked up into wallowing in self-pity and depression, you can explore your hobbies.
Involve yourself in new projects and find something worthwhile to do.
Doing this will help you increase your sense of self-worth and create some enjoyable moments for you.
3. Go for guidance and counseling
If the tips above do not help the situation, you should seek out professional help.
Try to get guidance from a marriage counselor to help you fix your dysfunctional marriage.
However, to do this, your husband must also be ready to work with you toward a better marriage.
Because it takes two to tango, your husband must also be committed and willing to make changes in order for the marriage to improve.
You are not married to yourself, so you need your partner to join hands with you to make things work.
4. Seek legal help
This should be the last resort.
If your husband doesn’t change his abusive behavior, you may take legal action.
However, before going through with this, you should think through the effects of separation or divorce.
If you feel like you are ready and there is no other alternative, you may need to take that step.
Final Words
It is important to note that you are not responsible for the way your partner is treating you if your husband always makes you feel worthless.
I hope that after patiently applying some of the tips above, your relationship issues will be sorted out.
However, you must always remember that you deserve respect and love in your marriage.
Never forget this!