Love, a simple word but imbued with a depth of meaning that can bewilder even the most learned of us.
It is, above all else, an emotion that should flow naturally, unrestricted, and unforced.
Yet, sometimes we find ourselves in situations where we doubt if the love we’re receiving is genuine or results from someone forcing themselves to feel a certain way.
If you’ve been pondering this, let’s see some key signs that he might be forcing himself to love you.
14 Signs He’s Forcing Himself To Love You
1. The Emotion Seems to be Artificial
When love is real, it tends to appear natural and effortless.
But when a guy is forcing himself to love you, the emotion may feel artificial or ‘put-on.’
It’s like he’s acting out a script rather than living the moments with you.
If you often find him exhibiting affections that seem rehearsed or out of context, it could be a sign he’s trying hard to convince himself of his feelings.
I’m not saying you’ll always be in love or feel excited about a relationship, but if it feels like you’re living a lie, that’s not going to last.
2. His Actions Don’t Align with What He Tells You
Another key sign that a guy might not really feel what he says he feels for you is when his actions don’t match up with his declarations.
If he’s saying one thing but doing something else, it could be a sign that he’s not really into you—or at least not to the degree he claims to be.
Maybe there’s an emotional disconnect between what he says and how he actually feels or behaves around you.
For example, he tells you he loves you but never shows up to spend time with you.
He says he wants to commit but keeps pulling away whenever things get serious.
Like, put your money where your mouth is, bro!
3. He Avoids Confronting His Own Feelings
People genuinely in love have no problem discussing their feelings openly and honestly.
But when a man is forcing himself to stay in a relationship he doesn’t want to be in, he’ll often try to avoid any conversation that could lead to him being more honest about his feelings.
He might shut down and go quiet when you open up about how you feel or clam up whenever the idea of committing comes up.
He’s avoiding confronting his feelings — that he doesn’t want to be with you.
4. Lack of Emotional Depth
Emotions are layered, and love is one of the deepest.
If he rarely shares his deeper feelings or thoughts with you, that shows a lack of emotional investment.
It’s like sailing on a sea that’s only a foot deep.
You can’t explore the depths because there simply aren’t any.
After all, you can’t give what you don’t have.
5. Infrequent and Inconsistent Communication
Communication in love is like oxygen to life.
If he’s sporadic and inconsistent with his communication or often ignores your messages for a significant amount of time without a valid reason, perhaps his heart isn’t fully committed.
Who doesn’t like to communicate with someone they love?
That’s why consistent communication is key to a healthy relationship.
If he’s not able to do so, that’s a sign something isn’t right.
6: Lack of Genuine Interest in Your Life
If a guy loves you genuinely, he will be interested in every little detail about you, your life, and your day.
But if he’s forcing himself to love, he will display a lack of genuine interest.
It could be as simple as not asking about your day or showing indifference to your achievements and struggles.
It’s like he doesn’t care about you.
You’re not his business.
7. Avoidance of Physical Intimacy
Physical intimacy is more than just a hug, kiss, or more.
It’s a form of communication that expresses love and affection.
If a guy loves you, he will want to show it with physical touch, not necessarily sexual.
I’m an advocate of waiting until marriage.
But if he forces himself to love you, he will likely avoid all forms of physical contact.
He might not want to hold hands with you, kiss you, or even hug you.
He wants to keep his distance and remain emotionally detached from you.
You’ll notice that you are the one who always initiates physical contact, and he doesn’t bother to come near you.
8. Emphasis on Friendship Over Love
While friendship is a strong foundation for love, it’s different from love itself.
If he emphasizes being ‘good friends’ rather than being in love or tends to act more like a friend than a lover, he might be persuading himself to love you.
He will talk about having experiences together as friends rather than growing closer as a couple.
You’ll have conversations and go on ‘friend dates,’ but when it comes to talking about or exhibiting romantic gestures, he may hold back.
He will keep conversations light, only talking about hobbies or interests, and not engage in any deep, meaningful discussions.
He might also make jokes that involve both of you being ‘just friends’ or tell stories about other couples without implying his own feelings for you.
These are signs he may be struggling to commit himself to love.
9. He Expresses Love Only Under Specific Circumstances
If his expressions of love come only at specific times, like when he’s happy, when things are going well, or when you do something for him, then it may be conditional and not truly genuine.
Love should be steadfast, not fluctuating with moods, circumstances, or you meeting his needs.
As a matter of fact, this a huge sign that he’s forcing himself to love you because one of the reasons a guy would force himself to love you is because he’s using you and doesn’t truly love you.
10. He Frequently Compares You With Others
To be honest, you won’t love everything about someone, so it takes effort to love them as a whole.
But genuine love celebrates uniqueness and doesn’t resort to comparisons.
So if a guy constantly compares you to others, be it his sister, ex-girlfriend, friends, a celebrity, or even a random lady on the street, it’s a sign that he isn’t truly in love with you.
Comparison often implies dissatisfaction and that he believes someone else can do better than you in certain areas.
Therefore, if your guy keeps comparing you to others, he’s yet to be satisfied with you and might be forcing himself to be with you.
12. He Avoids Difficult Conversations
Relationships are not always a bed of roses.
They often come with tough conversations and difficult situations.
If he tends to dodge these challenging moments or always tries to keep things light and casual, he’s not fully invested in the relationship.
Like avoiding rough waters instead of learning to sail through them, this approach might signify his love isn’t deep enough.
And no relationship can survive on casual and fun.
13. He’s Reluctant to Make Your Relationship Public
I’m not saying he should be announcing your relationship on Twitter, IG, or Facebook; he might be a really private person like I am.
But if he’s unwilling to admit that you’re together in front of his friends or family, and you’ve been together for a while, that could be a sign he’s not in it for the long haul.
Sure, some guys might just be shy about expressing their feelings, but even so, they should still be willing to recognize your relationship status when asked.
14. He Rarely Initiates Plans
Initiating plans is one way to express love and interest.
If you’re always the one making plans for dates or outings and he rarely, if ever, initiates, he might be forcing the relationship along.
It’s one thing to take turns, but if he never initiates plans, he probably doesn’t see it going anywhere.
Recognizing these signs can help you understand where your relationship stands.
However, they are not definitive proof of forced love.
Everyone’s love language is different, and people express their feelings in varied ways.
The most important thing is open and honest communication.
If you suspect he might be forcing himself to love you, talk to him about it and be observant.
If he truly loves you, he should be willing to discuss your relationship openly.
It will show whether the feelings are genuine and provide both of you with clarity on where you stand.
Not all relationships are meant to last, but understanding that love is not forced can help you know when it is time to move on.