While you may want to presume that every breakup is a clean breakup, reality states otherwise.
Breakups can be a terrible ordeal to pass through with the random wistful thoughts and the sporadic bouts of crying.
This is most especially true when the breakup truly hurt you.
Recovering from such trauma takes a lot of time, determination, and steady guidance from friends.
Regardless of the conditions of the breakup, it is possible for people to still retain affection for their ex.
Hence, if you feel like your woman’s behavior towards her ex is beyond normal, you may have justified reasons to be worried.
You may be attempting to dismiss the feelings as pesky attacks of anxiety but that’s not the way to deal with this situation.
The best way to deal with it is to open up to her about your insecurities and fears concerning her relationship with her ex.
However, to do this, you must be able to recognize the signs that indicate that she is not over her ex yet.
This article aims at helping you do just that.
Here are 6 clear signs indicating she is still not over her ex.
Signs She Is Not Over Her Ex
1. She talks to him
I am a firm proponent of the idea that you don’t need to cut all communications with an ex just because he is an ex.
However, I believe there should be firm boundaries in place.
So, what I mean by talking to him is not the kind of conversation that occurs between two casual friends or acquaintances.
It is the deep kind of conversation that can only occur between people who have a very tight bond.
If you notice that your girlfriend seems to be discussing topics that are sacrosanct with an ex, that’s a sign.
It becomes even more suspicious if she simply can’t receive calls from him in your presence.
She always needs to talk to him in private.
Actually, with communication made easier by social media, she doesn’t even need to talk to her ex physically.
If you notice that she is always on her phone, chatting or calling her ex, it may just mean she is still into him.
I won’t presume to be you but I believe this behavior sparks up your suspicion.
What do you do about it?
Gently ask her what it is she talks about with her ex that requires so much privacy.
Explain to her how hurt you feel when that happens and make her realize that she will feel the same way If she was in your shoes.
2. She stalks him
Stalking has gotten easier with social media connecting the whole world.
It is normal to scroll through pictures on Instagram and Facebook, especially when they appear on your timeline.
But if you find your girlfriend constantly scrolling through her ex’s profile or those of his friends and family, looking for information on him, you need to be careful.
It’s normal when this attitude is directed to celebrities but it’s all shades of weird when it is aimed at an ex.
If you find your girlfriend constantly scrolling through her ex’s social media profile or asking mutual friends for information about him, you may begin to wonder if she is just using you as a rebound.
You can keep up with the Kardashians but keeping up with your ex-boyfriend is a total red flag.
3. She compares you to her ex
Everyone has their different ways of expressing love and when you are in a different relationship, it is normal for changes to be noticed.
Truth be told, you won’t always do the right things.
You will make mistakes and the right thing to do is to learn from them.
So, if you find your girlfriend complaining about something you didn’t do right, it might be because she wants you to improve.
However, if she compares you to her ex every time you do something wrong, it is a bad sign.
If she makes you feel like she is settling for less by being with you after her “wonderful” ex, then you may want to start acknowledging the fact that you are in a toxic relationship and your girlfriend is not yet over her ex.
4. She keeps her relationship with you a secret
I must say that dating someone who isn’t ready to announce you to the world is risky business.
When people fall in love with you sincerely, they really can’t wait to introduce you to the other people in their lives.
We all want our friends to have a good relationship with our partners.
So, if you are in a relationship with someone and her close friends don’t even know about your relationship, you may just be setting yourself up for heartbreak.
There must be a reason why she is hiding you from her friends and it’s your job to find out what it is.
You shouldn’t be her dirty secret.
You should be the love of her life and if she is having issues introducing you to her circle of as that, then it may be because she doesn’t consider the relationship serious.
5. She holds on to mementos of him
After every relationship, you may discover that you have some things that remind you of them.
Some people discard them after the breakup, others keep them because they are of sentimental value to them.
I am not against the keeping of mementos.
They serve as memories of the past.
However, if you notice that she holds on to them with uncharacteristic fervor, it’s a sign that she may just be literally holding on to her ex.
She may be refusing to wash his sweatshirt because it smells so much like him or even staring at old pictures of them with a dreamy look in her eyes.
If you notice these and other related stuff happening, it is a clear sign that your girlfriend still hasn’t gotten over her ex.
6. She never gets jealous
A little bit of jealousy is good for any relationship.
It shows how much you are loved and valued when you can ignite even a little bit of jealousy in your partner.
However, if you notice that your girlfriend doesn’t ever seem to get jealous not even when other girls are making moves on you, then it’s a probable sign that she is not over her ex and she is probably using you as a rebound.
Final Words
Being in a relationship with someone who is still into their ex can be a frustrating experience.
If the signs above are evident in your girlfriend, you are probably hurt and confused about the next step to take.
Take a deep breath and calmly consider whether you love your girlfriend enough to continue.
If the answer to that is yes, then you need to communicate what you feel to her.
This will help her understand how you truly feel about her.
You may realize that she loves you a lot but she is just confused by too many conflicting feelings and memories from the past…
Or not.
Regardless of the outcome, it gives you closure.
The choice is yours, anyway!