To kick this off perfectly, here’s a scenario that embodies the mystery in the minds of many ladies…
“He seems to be perfect. The replica of the fairy tale’s Prince Charming, chasing you down and sweeping you off your feet, all in one breathless move. He is romantic and treats you right at all times… Until he doesn’t”
This sweeping summary of seemingly perfect romance until he gets you is something that a lot of ladies can relate to.
Then, after he gets you, it seems like he stops trying to be romantic to you.
Suddenly, you may even start wondering if he ever loved you or if it was just a game to him.
Why do guys stop putting effort into relationships when they have you?
Could it be something you had done or said?
Could the blame lie at your doorstep?
The questions just keep flooding through your head, and more questions to answer previous questions.
Dating a guy who no longer puts effort into the relationship is very frustrating.
It is as frustrating as one person trying to empty an ocean with a bucket.
When a guy doesn’t put effort to do basic things like paying attention to you, texting romantic messages to you, going on random dates with you, helping you and just doing those random things that show he loves you, the relationship can get so lonely.
If this happens to you, it is normal to feel frustrated and ask questions.
This article aims at helping you identify the possible reasons guys stop trying when they have you.
7 Reasons Guys Stop Trying When They Have You
1. He’s busy
It’s easy to jump to a conclusion and assume the worst when your man seems to stop trying in the relationship.
However, you should avoid doing this.
If he had a phase when he showered you with so much care and attention, the present state of things may just indicate that he is unavoidably busy.
You may want to discuss with him his schedule just to find out if it is his workload that is occupying him so much that he seems to have little time for you.
Perhaps he is busy with family issues or with many tasks.
These are the questions you need to have answered and who is better suited to answer these questions than him?
So, ask him.
Communicate to him openly and tell him how you feel that he has neglected the relationship.
Let him tell you the reason he seems to no longer put effort into the relationship.
2. it was just a game
The reason why they keep coming for you when you are not yet theirs is because they can’t bear to lose at the game.
When he finally gets what he wants, he sees it as an opportunity to get back into the race for the next conquest.
Now, that’s so sad and hurtful but we don’t live in a utopia where everything is ideal, so, it is an option to consider.
3. He is undecided
There are times when a guy who has pursued you so diligently may still have someone else that catches his fancy.
This may make him a little undecided on what to do about your relationship.
This could be another reason he stops trying in the relationship.
It may also mean that he has another person.
It could be another girl or even an ex.
Whichever the case may be, when a guy is distracted, he will probably stop putting effort into the relationship.
4. He has commitment issues
Commitment is key to fostering good long-lasting relationships.
There are times when a guy likes you and he acts on this impulse without ever meaning to have something definite or long-lasting with you.
When he finally gets in and sees that you want something long-term, he may just freak out and stop trying.
Things may be moving too fast for him to wrap his head around it.
Multiple dates, lengthy conversations, conversations about the future, and other associated stuff can be too heavy to take in.
When this happens, it brings with it a feeling of entrapment.
Many guys will rather run than be trapped in a long-term relationship they didn’t prepare for.
5. He has lost interest in you
A guy may stop trying when he has you because he has lost interest in you.
Why will someone suddenly lose interest in a lady he chased diligently?
Well, people lose interest for a lot of reasons.
One of them may be that after getting to know you, he has realized you are not the person for him.
This is not an insult.
Everyone has someone compatible with them.
He may feel like you are not that person for him.
Another reason may be that he really doesn’t know what he wants in a woman.
The heart is fickle and we can’t always know why people do the things they do.
However, one thing is absolutely certain: once your man’s heart is no longer in the relationship, there’s almost nothing that can be done to bring it back.
6. He is unhappy
If your man is unhappy, one of the least things he may be concerned about is putting effort into a romantic relationship.
This is especially true if he is facing issues with his career, finances, or family.
He may even be tempted to end the relationship to focus fully on resolving the issues.
Whatever the reason for his unhappiness, dating an unhappy man is one of the most frustrating things ever.
7. He may just be matching your energy
Certain kinds of relationships show an imbalance of efforts from both partners.
If your man has noticed that he seems to be the one putting the lion’s share of the effort in the relationship, he may decide to stop trying.
After failing to see you reciprocating the level of commitment he deserves, he may stop putting effort into the relationship.
Relationships are not meant to be one-sided and if you are not ready to commit the same level of energy to a relationship as your partner, then you are not ready to make it work.
Final Words
There are various reasons for the sudden transformation of a loving man into a nonchalant and indifferent person.
However, before assuming the worst, you should communicate your feelings to your partner.
This may help in resolving the situation but if it can’t be resolved, one thing should be certain: you don’t deserve a one-sided relationship.