Friends with benefits are usually casual sex or bedmates.
This translates to sex without emotional attachment or commitment, where two adults, a man, and a woman, come together strictly for sexual satisfaction, with no strings attached.
The world has changed, and we’re no longer in an era where these things are hidden.
Eighty percent of the time, the adults involved know what they are getting into and what their boundaries are; friends with benefits are more beneficial to men than women.
Women involved in friends-with-benefits arrangements are likelier to desire commitment and a long-term relationship than men.
The men are less likely to develop feelings for their casual sex mates.
Is it possible that guys care for ladies who are their friends with benefits or casual sex mates?
I was listening to a married male colleague interested in finding and keeping a lady as his friend with benefits because, according to him, his wife couldn’t provide the sexual satisfaction he needed, and he was sex-starved.
I expressed the fear of getting entangled with a single lady who knows he wouldn’t get married to her and who might try to mess with his family one way or the other.
I also asked what he would do if he developed feelings for her, no matter how slight or negligible.
Surprisingly, my colleague admitted the possibility of developing feelings for the lady who would be his friend with benefits.
He said he would take her out, talk with her, try to know what she stood for, if she even understood what he wanted from her, and what the boundaries were.
Then they would take their meet-up and hang out to the next level by finally getting intimate and exchanging body fluids.
He said he wouldn’t meet her and immediately initiate sex and that even when they agreed to become friends with benefits, they’d meet up, hang out, and talk over bottles of drinks.
According to him, spending time with a lady and getting intimate as often as possible without developing the slightest affection for her is impossible.
However, he promised to “be careful” with how he’d feel about her and to manage whatever issues might arise.
As ridiculous as this arrangement sounded to me, I agreed with my colleague that he’d develop feelings for his friend at a point.
We are talking about sharing something as deep as sex with someone of the opposite sex.
When you have sex with someone, you share a deep energy and the highest level of intimacy that ever existed with that person.
It’s not just possible to meet up, hang out and get intimate with a lady repeatedly and not have even an atom of regard or care for her.
Yes.
I forgot to mention that when my male colleague announced he was interested in finding and keeping a single lady as his friend with benefits, I turned and fixed my gaze on him.
I think he knew what was going on in my mind because he met and held my gaze while he explained it was better to find one lady with whom he was on the same page than to sleep around with different ladies to satisfy his sexual urge.
I responded with a nod, not because I agreed with him but because finding one lady who would agree to a friends-with-benefits arrangement further strengthened the fact that he was likely to develop feelings and affection for that one lady along the line.
So yes, guys do care about their friends with benefits.
Many guys don’t always admit this because they feel they should be more assertive, in charge of their feelings, and know better, but whether they realize it or not, they care.
He may not buy her flowers, cakes, and customized balloons on her birthday, and he may not call or text two or three times a day to hear her voice and know how her day is going.
However, a little care is care, and even the slightest care is still care.
This is true unless the guy is a total player, and you aren’t the only lady he’s involved with, and he has several other ladies he talks to every other day and hooks up with every other night.
This is in addition to the fact that sometimes, good and close friends of opposite sexes agree to take their platonic relationship to another level by agreeing to be friends with benefits and satisfy each other’s sexual urges with no strings attached.
In this case, a level of mutual care, affection, and respect existed even before the friends-with-benefits arrangement began. With the introduction of sexual intimacy, that care, love, and respect will likely remain and even deepen.
Again, even after the friends-with-benefits arrangement ends, some friends remain good friends for a long time.
Like women, men are emotional beings, and they also catch feelings.
The only difference is in the way those emotions are processed and expressed.
The truth is, the more time a man spends with a lady he’s just hanging out and having sex with, the more he’s likely to develop feelings and start caring for her.
Not to mention that many marriage relationships started as friends with benefits.
Along the line, one or both friends developed feelings, had conversations, decided to start dating, and eventually got married.
All of these point to the fact that as much as they hardly talk about it, most of the time, guys care about their friends with benefits.
They even develop intense romantic feelings, become jealous if they see their friend with someone else, and feel hurt if their care or emotions aren’t reciprocated.
This is why it isn’t advisable to remain friends with benefits or introduce any deep step in your friendship based on mere assumption.
It would be best to have an open and honest conversation about expectations, feelings, and boundaries at every point in your friendship.
This will help you keep you two on the same page and let you know if you should continue as friends with benefits, move on to something deeper, more meaningful, and lasting, or end the friendship and move on.
READ MORE