Are you a wife looking for tips on how to teach a lesson to a selfish husband?
Look no further; you’re in the right place.
For any relationship to be successful, the two partners must put in efforts to make it work, equal or approximate measures.
You might start wondering whether your husband is selfish if you’re the only one putting in effort in every aspect of your marriage or relationship.
It’s normal for both partners to share their responsibilities equally if they’re staying together.
However, if one person leaves all the work in the relationship for the other person, it’ll take a toll on the one doing all the work and make them feel lonely and unappreciated.
Can you relate to these feelings?
Perhaps your husband is lazy and laid back, but those are not enough to conclude that he is selfish.
Although these traits can be very annoying, the root of selfishness goes deeper than them.
Continue reading this piece; I have outlined some ways to identify a selfish husband and some approaches to apply.
7 Surefire Signs Of A Selfish Husband
1. He always puts himself first
Does your husband have the mentality that you’ll always put him first?
It doesn’t matter the current priorities in your life or how busy you are; he feels that you’ll always put him first.
It might be a sign that he’s selfish.
For instance, even if you are running late to work, he’ll insist that you drop him off at his workplace before driving to yours despite both being at the two ends of the city.
He’ll expect you always to do everything he says to the ‘t’, expect you to give him royal treatment always, and have your full attention whenever they need you.
2. He expects you to clean up after him
Are you the only one doing the chores around the house without help from your husband, who is physically fit and free to help?
It’s very selfish of him to sit and watch you labour away when he can help you do some chores.
For instance, you come home after a long day at work to meet the house upside down.
The sitting room is untidy, the bedroom is littered with dirty clothes strewn all over the floor, and the kitchen sink is filled with dirty plates and pots.
He expects you to clean up the house after him without helping or lending a hand.
This is unfair and unreasonable because it’s his responsibility too.
3. He expects you to take care of all the finances
Does your husband expect you to be solely responsible for taking care of all the financial commitments in the home?
This could include paying the bills, managing investments, and managing savings.
It’s not fair that he expects all these duties to be done by you while he does nothing to contribute financially.
This is a sign of a selfish husband because you are meant to be partners on this journey.
4. He makes all your decisions for you
From the basic daily decisions like your choice of clothes to significant decisions like career choices, your husband makes all the decisions concerning your life.
Does this paint a picture of your life?
Then, it means that your husband is running your life; you practically have no say in matters that concern you.
Your husband is truly right to provide suggestions, help you and guide you to make the right decisions for you.
However, a selfish husband makes decisions for you in a manner that his decisions favour him more than it does you.
5. He’s not appreciative and supportive of you
Every selfish person tends to think they’re the best and irreplaceable.
And that’s why no matter what you do and how excellent you are at it, your selfish husband will always find fault with it.
He doesn’t appreciate the things you do and the effort you put in to make the marriage work.
He’s not supportive of the things you do, either.
He believes that whatever you do is fulfilling your wife’s duty.
6. His comfort is paramount to him
Is your husband ever ready to do the impossible for themselves but won’t lift a finger when it concerns you?
It’s a sign that you’re married to a selfish man.
For instance, they drag you along while visiting their family for the holidays, whether convenient for you or not.
However, they will look the other way and come up with a million and one excuses why they can’t join you to visit your sick family member.
Once in a while, in every relationship, you’ll have to do one or two things that are not within your comfort zone, and that’s why they’re called sacrifices.
The sacrifice should be mutual; from both sides.
What your selfish husband does is ignore your needs and, invariably, your happiness.
7. He uses emotional blackmail on you
Selfishness and blackmail go hand in hand because the perpetrator will need to turn the situation around and make you feel bad for whatever role you play.
Watch your husband blackmail you emotionally whenever you point out they’re neglecting you or not contributing anything to the family.
They’ll always find reasons to excuse their selfish attitude.
8. He’s a spendthrift
It’s always advisable to have a financial budget, spend wisely and save some money while at it.
In a marriage, the partners must be mindful of how they spend money.
But if your husband is selfish, you’ll only be working with a budget and spending money wisely.
He spends money on whatever he likes, provided he has the money.
How To Teach A Lesson To Selfish Husband
Remember that your husband might have selfishness as a learned behaviour from childhood.
So, changing him all of a sudden doesn’t apply here.
Here are some of the ways you can teach your selfish husband a lesson:
1. Speak to him about it
There’s no way you’ll notice your husband is selfish; keep quiet about it and expect him to change independently.
It’s not possible and does not work that way.
You need to speak up to be heard.
Speak up if he’s frustrating you and putting you through much pain and stress with his actions.
However, try not to be aggressive with your approach, as it’s likely to result in a fight, and the issue will remain unresolved.
Be firm without being disrespectful.
Pick your words carefully but ensure they’re powerful enough to convey your message to him.
Effective communication skills are needed here.
2. Respect yourself
If you want your husband to respect you, you must start by respecting yourself first.
Let him know that his selfish behaviour is unacceptable and will not be tolerated anymore.
Set boundaries and make sure he knows what’s acceptable and what’s off-limits.
Make sure you stand firm with your decisions and don’t let him cross the boundaries you’ve set.
3. Allow him to take responsibility
It can be that you’ve gotten so used to their selfishness that you unconsciously take over every duty in the home, giving your husband little or no chance to make any contributions.
And it might be making him feel relaxed and reluctant about doing anything in and for the home.
It would be best if you stepped back a bit.
This might look like leaving him to cater for the children for a weekend or a week while you rest and refresh.
He will definitely be okay.
This action might make him realize his selfishness and start making changes.
Also, divide the responsibilities between you and let your husband do his part for the family.
4. Focus on yourself
You see all the attention you’ve been showering on your husband that fuels his selfishness?
Turn them to yourself.
While doing your part for the family, focus on meeting your needs and wants, being happy and fulfilled, and smashing your dreams and goals.