What’s marriage without loyalty?
What’s the essence of taking the vows before the altar if you still believe that you must interact with your female friends the way you have always done before marriage?
Marriage is not just a relationship; it is a pact with your wife to stay faithful to each other till death separates you.
However, this is a pact that is not so easy to keep for many men.
The reason for this difficulty is not so farfetched.
Many men have continued to relate with other females the same way they did when they were single.
Such constant interactions gradually erode your resolve to stay faithful in marriage, and soon, you may find yourself doing things you are not so proud of.
To save you the unnecessary strain that comes with cheating and trying to keep it secret from your spouse, this article will be elaborating on a list of things that any loyal husband should avoid doing with other women other than his wife.
When you communicate and interact with other women, here are some of the things that you should avoid doing or talking about;
8 Things a Married Man Should Never Do With Another Woman
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You should avoid giving details about intimacy with your wife.
Every husband needs to note this as a paramount part of their life that shouldn’t be disclosed to anyone. Not just other women.
Conversations around intimacy with your wife should only be discussed with one person; your wife!
The only other person who needs to know about it may be a professional, if necessary, and this may only be because you are having issues in this aspect and need to improve on it.
Intimacy issues can be worked out in a marriage if both parties apply patience and love while keeping external interference to the minimum.
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You should avoid criticizing your wife in front of other women.
Your wife is not perfect, and there are times she’d annoy you.
However, criticizing your wife shouldn’t be done in front of anyone.
It is even worse when you criticize your wife in front of other women.
It gives your wife the feeling that she is not good enough.
It also gives other women the crazy idea that you may just be dissatisfied with your wife and open to extramarital affairs.
To show that you respect your wife, you must make your criticisms known to her privately.
It would be better to address any issues in private, away from prying eyes and ears.
If it is necessary to discuss the problems (in front of other people), make sure that you are still respectful and loving towards your wife.
That way, she will feel safe and comfortable instead of feeling belittled or embarrassed by your words.
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You should avoid having a female best friend.
Opposite-sex best friends are good, but they are not for married couples.
The moment you marry a wife, she automatically becomes your best friend, and who is better equipped than her to be your best friend, in actuality?
Keeping a female best friend outside your marriage is wrong, and you should avoid it if you want to have a peaceful marriage.
The deep secrets shared with a female best friend should rather be entrusted to your wife for safekeeping.
What’s wrong with having a female best friend? You may ask.
To put the answer in perspective, you need to imagine a scenario where your wife has a male best friend that knows everything about her, even things you don’t know, and when he visits, he and your wife have so many inside jokes that you feel like a stranger in your home.
Done imagining it?
What was your reaction?
That’s the exact way your wife feels about that female best friend of yours.
Start setting boundaries and defining your relationship with her.
Some lines shouldn’t be crossed in marriage, and this is a major one.
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You must avoid being vulnerable with other women.
We all face trials and challenges in life.
They are par for the course.
However, it is important that when you are going through such trials and challenges, you don’t look for comfort in the arms of another woman.
When you are vulnerable with other women, they may want to comfort you, and this may be the beginning of your sojourn into dangerous territory.
You should only be vulnerable with your wife and your therapist, if you have one.
You must work on finding solutions to your challenges with your partner and a few trusted friends but never in isolation with another woman.
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You must avoid sharing personal family business with other women.
The family business is exactly what the name says it is.
It belongs to the family and shouldn’t be gist for ears of other women.
Sharing such confidential and delicate information may end up hurting you and your family.
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You should avoid complimenting other women too much.
Compliments are good, and they are not just the sole property of your wife.
You can compliment other women but avoid complimenting her inappropriately.
Compliments that involve praising her figure or calling her attractive should be avoided like the plague.
Such compliments are reserved exclusively for your wife alone.
While you compliment other women, make sure you are not caught in the trap of comparing them with your wife.
When you begin to tell her that she does some things better than your wife, you have crossed an invisible ethics line, even if it’s the truth.
Even if your wife doesn’t find out about it, you may be making the other woman uncomfortable, creating ideas in her head, or getting yourself into an emotional entanglement outside your marriage.
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You should avoid calling other women cute nicknames.
Calling other women endearments such as sweetheart, darling, and hun is a bad idea for a married man.
Such conduct doesn’t befit your status as a married man and should be stopped.
Your intentions may be innocent, but for the sake of your wife, who loves it when you call her such names, avoid making it something the public can have access to.
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You should avoid telling other women that your marriage is going through a rough patch.
Having marriage troubles?
Well, you would hardly be the first to experience marriage issues.
The fact that you are going through marital troubles doesn’t mean you should start discussing your marriage and its issues with other women.
Keep your marriage issues private and try to work it out with your wife.
You may involve a professional or counselor to help your marriage get through the rough patches.
Show some respect for your relationship and work with your wife patiently and lovingly to get over the stormy phase of your relationship.
Conclusion
As a husband, you must be aware that everything you say and do sends a message, either intentionally or not.
Hence, you must be careful in your interaction with other women to maintain appropriate and innocent interactions.
If a woman tries to interact with you in a way that you don’t consider appropriate, it is also important that you clearly define your relationship to avoid troubles that stem from such inappropriate interactions.
When you regard your wife as the most important person in your life, you will enjoy a successful and peaceful marriage.
I Agee my last husband had an affair with other women cause he always had female friends.
Awww. So sorry about your experience.
I was the best friend!
Then you should’ve done what was right and put space or got to know his wife.
#9. You should never buy another women a present out of kindness. Especially, when you do not do that for your wife.
#10. Do not give your wife’s mother day present away to another female.
Perfect examples! My spouse was constantly giving candy bars, flowers, balloons, knickknacks, birthday gifts, and “ I saw this and I thought of you!” gifts to female coworkers and friends he found “attractive.”
Could be looking at narcissism…
Its both the ways not gender based and this growing a lot so mens these days prefer staying single rather getting in some divorce and false allegations
There is a post for women too. Learn from this and move on.
Very true. men do not want to marry. They like more ” live in relationship” type living and females do this as they all know legal repercussions.
This is not a real answer. Children need a home and a family. Sleeping with women even for fun results in children. Men can’t go around spreading disease and poverty just so they can have a “relationship.”
content is about husband not to do but what when wife cheats faithful husband share chat love have physical touch (hugs) with other person so it leds to death as it is a kind of slap on husband face directly
Absolutely. My cousin is undergoing a big problem, divorce with huge demand for decree and the lady denies taking responsibility of a ten year old son, when she lives with her colleague in the bank she loved more!!! He learnt only when he say text messages from her lover. She was requested to get professional help, but she yelled, complained to police , transferred all funds to her account and closed those accounts, harassed the man and finally takes divorce. the matter is pending in court since last two years in US.
My husband is doing all of the above. He has no shame. And he is high on alcohol or other drug.
Get out of such relationship without thinking of society, unless you have some other issues , you cannot get out from. Learn assertiveness. Meet a psychologist. Life is not to face trauma on the name of marriage.
Sounds like it would be best not to marry. We’ve been married 51 years and never needed all those rules. Just because you marry doesn’t mean you have to exclude others from friendship. If you do, it’s probably best not to marry and limit your life to so few people and experiences with others. I do understand the pitfalls that can arise if you’re not honest.
49 years in for my wife and I. We still enjoy each other immensely and spending time together. We do for each other and find things we both like. You must guard your heart. Our common values in Christianity have been a strong basis for our relationship
Great! I too love my wife most and have had no female friends in life.
Thank goodness some of us have great boundaries. I have a married couple I travel with, I ski with the husband and do everything else with the wife. It works so well….and we have been friends for 48 years now.
Unfortunately, I have no comment, other than single folks behaving like they ‘re married and visea versa…. Am I crazy?
But , most do no know this. Recently, my daughter and husband invited me and my wife for housewarming ceremony. Boy’s father came from India, developed one sided intimacy with my wife and tried misbehaving with her on the day of housewarming. When I reported the issue to my son in law, all relationships shattered as he was emotionally attached to his father, causing unpleasant communications, fanning hatred and detached relationship now. Daughter is helpless as he threatened divorce and has a daughter of two years old. Its hard to get out, as they somehow manage. All sweat memories of marriage gone in a single politest email , I sent to take care of such issues. His father apologized me, but is unwilling to accept it to his son an daughter in law!! Stupidity caused issued more. Taking legal actions is not possible at the moment.
In this day and age, that seems reasonable.
I have female friends I have had for close to 50 years. I’ve been with my wife for 40 years. I still check in on my female friends from time to time, and they do with me.
The skiing thing seems entirely okay. I take it you two ski hard, and the wife either doesn’t ski, or Green Slopes it.
Oops. Looks like someone’s husband has been a naughty boy. I am his friend. We like it that way.
Oops! Looks like someone is going to have carma teache her a life leson with her husban one day. Carma also likes it that way.
I’ve found that people such as yourself and your married male “best friend” that want their cake and eat it too get their just desserts in the end. it isn’t hard to determine that you aren’t proud of what you’re doing from your unwillingness to put your name on your comment.
It’s a shame his innocent wife has to suffer for your and his sins.
If his wife is good with this then everything’s peachy. If you’re cheating with someone’s husband, there will be hell to pay when she finds out and she will find out. You might not be the one he picks to stay with and you’ll be hurting.
I’ve found that people such as yourself and your married male “best friend” that want their cake and eat it too get their just desserts in the end. it isn’t hard to determine that you aren’t proud of what you’re doing from your unwillingness to put your name on your comment.
It’s a shame his innocent wife has to suffer for your and his sins.
Well said.
Together for 32 years, at age of 58 had affair in work for 6 months with 32 yr old.
Found out set ground rules, carried on.
Phone provider sent txt, check bill little higher. Dumbfounded, owned up to having a “best friend” (female) described as very very very good friend. After checking bill, average of 35-40 texts per day, EVERY SINGLE DAY for 17 months!!! Not 1 day missed up to Christmas Day. Tackled him, just best friends, not my business. Admitted to kissing her on lips, nothing else (yeah ok!!??) she’s a squeaky clean widow denies everything!
Won’t let me see messages, just say hi have good day, jokes and to say goodnight! (Don’t think so) I’m disabled with poor mobility doesn’t even say goodnight to me!!
Demented……..stay or go ????
Cut his private parts off then go with the parts in a jar and whoops you lost them on the way to nowhere particular. Or you could just pickle them for later consumption. Thats what I would do! Does that help??
He has the right to have an affair. She has the right to leave him. You don’t get to dismember him for any reason. Would you say about a man finding out his wife is having an affair ‘Cut off her boos and pickle them in a jar…’?
Probably not.
But, if he isn’t having an affair, then I would be surprised.
Sounds like there’s a reason he can’t be intimate with his wife. Not that it’s an excuse, but it’s probably the reason for the affair.
The article started by stereotyping all men in marriages. You assume all of us had close female friends or any female friends. The women that dated me asked me out. My wife asked me out and year later asked me to get married.
Even though we live like room mates that doesn’t give me the right to go out side the marriage. With death being the way out we will make it until then.
In this day and age having friends of the opposite sex is inevitable. I think cutting off your female friends from your life is not reasonable.
I have female friends. Friends for decades. They’ve never been an issue in my marriage. These are friends, not possible sexual partners. But, I don’t talk about my sex life with my wife with my female friends. I also don’t exclude my wife. They are friends just like my/our couple friends or my male friends.
More importantly, my family life comes first – before male or female friends. None of my friends mind that. So, I am not sacrificing family time to hang out with my friends – male or female. Mostly because of family commitments my friend time is coffee during the week once in awhile, or the odd telephone call. Maybe a movie…I have never gone to a movie with a female friend while married, or even dating. The only movie I might go to, and this would be very seldom, would be a movie with a male friend because we want to go to a guy movie which my wife isn’t interested in.
Been there with my husband. He has always been too friendly with other women for my taste and it finally bit him in the ass. She was a needy, whiny woman that got hired by deception in our company. She also was the age of our you ngest daughters. Every time I would be with him heading to a job or just out his phone would ring or the radio go off and it would be her. One day her spiel was “hey what did you need?” His reply was “what are you talking about?” To that she replied “you called me.” He replied “no I didn’t” again she said “yes you did” while I’m sitting in the passenger seat shaking my head. On another occasion just a few days later…same scenario, she calls him. “Hey just calling you back to see if you listened to the CD I gave you”. When he got off the phone I asked him what they CD was. It was a copy she had burned on her computer of Kenny Rogers CD wit “Buy Me A Rose”. I said I bought you the CD when it first came out. I warned him right then what she was up to and I told him he was about to jeopardize everything he had. His family, his business and everything he had worked for all his life. I had to travel for some business and she was always having issues and asking him for help or moping around. I noticed things had changed with him and then one day I went by the office from my office and he met me outside and said he was heading home. I noticed her car was not there. I asked him where she was and he said he didn’t know. Someone else told me she was caught going out to one of the jobs and he was sitting in her car with her. I heard several stories later on about what exactly happened The next morning he asked me to come to the office and ride to check jobs with him. I did and all day if I was inside looking at something he would walk outside. The next day he was supposed to be leaving to go hunting with our son. I was going to visit my brothers widow for the weekend. I came back on Monday and my gut said go by the office on the way home. I get there and his truck is parked in the parking lot, but he s nowhere to be found. The light is off in his office and I go back outside and see his legs standing on the backside of the lot behind a trailer. When I walk around the end of the trailer he abruptly ends his phone call. I knew immediately what was happening so I asked him to see his phone to see if there was something wrong with mine because I had tried to call hime and couldn’t get him. He was so dumb he had no clue what I was doing. I got all the numbers off his phone from that day and the one that was on there several times turned out to be hers. With her calling him and him calling her. To make long story short our issues were just beginning. The trouble last for three years until she tried to get me in trouble and have me arrested for stalking her when it was her stalking me and even went into my house and got into my computer one weekend when we were gone. In the meantime our son had hired another needy woman that would sit in my husbands office instead of at the front desk doing her job. That time it ended in me filing for divorce and the judge giving me all three of the housed we owned and him having to pay for me a new car. The next hearing would have given me my part of the company we owned. Within a week of the decree and the judge setting the next and final hearing he was calling me begging and asking for forgiveness making all kinds of promises. We wound up back together after a lot of counseling and will be married 61 years this month. Never ever let a man get away with being overly friendly with women at work because there is a slut on every corner waiting on someone’s husband to walk by to snag. They see what you have and they want it…not just the man but all the material things and the last name.
I’m sorry you went through all that. It’s great he retraced his step before things went south completely.
Women are so insecure, best to be avoided !!!
Seems most of these comments are about troubles women have with their husbands. What makes him interested in other ladies instead of you? Are you pursing him like others are pursing him? Asking for a friend.