The dream of almost every lady is to find the right man who will treat her like she is the queen of his life.
These desires, fueled by the sometimes unrealistic portrayal of love in the movies, may have raised the expectations of many ladies higher than usual when it comes to romance and relationships.
Notwithstanding high and unrealistic expectations, ladies deserve to be in a relationship with a man who treats them like a priority.
No one wants to be treated like an option, a backup plan to fall back on just in case all goes to hell.
Relationships should be between two people who are equally invested in making the relationship a happy one.
Sadly, it’s not so for many people.
Many ladies are trapped in relationships with people who treat them as an option.
The saddest part is that sometimes, it’s not obvious that you are being treated like an option.
How do you know that you are being treated as an option by your man?
Here are the subtle and not-so-subtle signs that you are just an option to him.
8 Subtle And Not-So-Subtle Signs He Treats You Like An Option
1. He appears and disappears
Have you ever been in a “relationship” with someone who ghosts?
If you have experienced this, you will realize that it is a very difficult situation to cope with.
They are here this minute, and the next minute, they are gone… until they need to return.
Then, they show up in your life again.
If he seems to move in and out of your life at will, it is safe for you to conclude that you are just an option to him.
It’s the most common sign that he treats you like an option.
It almost seems like he is leading you on; he shows you enough attention to keep you entangled in the relationship while still avoiding commitment to you.
Whenever ladies say they are in a complicated relationship, this is what I believe is happening in the relationship.
You think he likes you, but you are not confident enough about his feelings for you.
He seems to fluctuate between periods when he appears to be so in love with you and when it looks like he is avoiding you.
The thing about this sort of guy is that he always comes back whenever he wants something from you.
You could be the source of satisfaction for their sexual urges or merely an entertainment to ease a boring day for them.
Either way, if you are observant, you will recognize when you are treated this way by the man you love.
2. He doesn’t reply to your text or calls
You remember when you used to text each other without pause because neither of you could get enough of each other.
There was hardly a break in your conversations back in the beginning.
Now, you remember those days with the fondness that a nostalgic grandfather remembers his younger days because you will consider yourself lucky if he even replies to your messages at all.
He is no longer so available to you.
You may have even complained about how he goes incommunicado, and the excuses you have gotten from him always range from ” I am very busy” to “My phone wasn’t with me.”
Sometimes, the excuses may make you feel like you are not doing enough with your life.
At least, if you were also busy with something, you wouldn’t be busy double-texting or even triple-texting a guy.
While they may actually be busy, that doesn’t justify ghosting someone they claim to love.
When they stop creating time in their busy schedules to communicate with you, it’s a sign that he is beginning to view you as an option.
The fact is that your texts and calls have lost their importance to him.
The earlier you realize this, the faster you get yourself disentangled from that entanglement with him.
3. He acts uninterested most of the time
One of the major ways to know that he treats you as an option is to weigh his interest in matters related to you.
A man who loves you will want to know about you, and this curiosity will manifest itself in how eager he is to hear your opinions and feelings.
He wants to know even the littlest details about your day and your plans for the future.
However, when he considers you an option, he finds it hard to show interest in anything that you are saying.
He doesn’t care to know about your feelings and makes it obvious through his actions that he doesn’t give two hoots about your opinions.
He only meets or talks to you when he is bored or in need of something.
4. He evades commitments
One of the major things required to make a relationship work is the commitment from both partners.
There is the commitment to the relationship by deciding to invest emotions and effort into building a healthy relationship.
This also entails keeping to the plans you have planned.
A man who considers you a priority won’t evade commitments with you.
In fact, he will make plans for more dates with you because he can’t just get enough of you.
However, a man who treats you as an option will avoid commitments with you.
He will keep on making excuses to avoid spending quality time with you.
If you are with a guy and something keeps on rain checking on pre planned dates without consideration for your feelings, it is a sign that he treats you as an option.
5. He makes last-minute plans
This is another way to detect if he considers you an option.
Some guys would prefer avoiding commitments with you.
However, others will make last-minute plans and not care how it affects you.
They may try to disguise this as being spontaneous, but the fact is that a guy who cares about you would usually make plans in advance.
It is just a way to disguise the fact that he doesn’t care enough about you to make plans in advance, but whenever he is bored, he is prepared to commit to something.
Sometimes, the plans are last minute because he made earlier plans with someone else who disappointed him.
It’s weird, but most times, the guy who treats you as an option has another lady treating him the same way.
It’s just another messed-up web of situationships.
6. The relationship isn’t progressing
Have you ever experienced that feeling of being in limbo when you just know that you are stuck?
It is a terrible feeling because you know you should have moved past the level at which you are stuck.
This is the same way a relationship with a guy who treats you like an option feels.
You are still talking to him, and you may even get to see him from time to time, but the fact is that you don’t seem to know him.
Imagine having a talking stage with someone for months or even years…
Imagine being stuck with the feeling that he is more than a friend yet not knowing exactly what he is.
Imagine being in a relationship with someone for years, yet he doesn’t seem to have any plans for the future.
This is what it feels like to be treated like an option.
7. He hasn’t introduced you to his friends
If you are in a relationship with a guy for a long time and haven’t met his friends yet, you should be concerned.
Guys usually gist their friends about asking you out to seek their advice or to inform them that he is about to leave them in the single world.
Either way, guys usually don’t keep their girlfriends a secret from their friends except when they consider the girlfriend as an option.
This is usually a sign that they are holding back and not ready for the whole relationship thing.
It also means they are keeping you at a distance because they are trying to keep their options open.
Talking about… “don’t let your girlfriend stop you from meeting your future wife.”
I feel that this is a wrong mindset to have in a relationship, and that’s one of the reasons for the high rate of cheating that occurs in relationships.
8. He is selfish
He only does things in the relationship at his convenience.
I am sure you are wondering why you should call, text, or meet someone if it isn’t inconvenient.
That’s the thing about love… It’s not just about the goosebumps, lightheaded feelings, and flutters in your belly.
It also makes you do things that are typically not convenient for you.
Another thing to consider is if he avoids associating with you on social media.
This doesn’t mean he has to post your pictures on Twitter, Instagram, and Facebook.
However, if he doesn’t even accept your friend’s request on social media or acknowledge you in any way, especially on platforms like WhatsApp, then you are probably just an option to him.
Yes, he may argue that he doesn’t like putting his business on social media, but whatever happened to accepting your request or responding to your DMs when he is online?
It is a painful realization, but if you see any or even a combo of these signs in your relationship, it is a sign that he views you as an option.
You are just an alternative that he falls back on.