Relationships are like rollercoasters.
They have their ups and downs as well as twists and turns.
Everyone has experienced a little bit of turbulence in relationships.
This, however, doesn’t qualify as being in a tumultuous relationship.
A tumultuous relationship can be likened to a ship sailing on stormy seas or a plane flying through a storm.
A tumultuous relationship is characterized by frequent fights, arguments, and misunderstandings.
This is when the signs are glaringly obvious.
However, there are times when the signs of a tumultuous relationship are subtle and not easily observed.
If your relationship seems to give you that funny tumultuous relationship vibe, but you are not so sure, here are some telltale signs of a tumultuous relationship:
7 Signs You Are in a Tumultuous Relationship
1. Recurring fights
Conflicts occur even in the best of relationships.
However, it is the way conflict is resolved that makes the relationship healthy and successful.
Couples come together to discuss and find a suitable resolution to whatever goes wrong in the relationship.
After the resolution of the conflict, both partners learn from the past conflicts and ensure that the same thing never occurs.
In a tumultuous relationship, conflicts are not easily resolved and seem to go on and on without an end in sight.
If you find yourself arguing and fighting with your partner over the same things over and over again, it’s a sign that your relationship is not healthy.
2. Lack of trust
This is another very obvious sign of a tumultuous relationship.
Trust is the bedrock of any healthy relationship, and it is impossible for couples to live in peace if they do not trust each other.
Lack of trust in a relationship results in a number of other issues that further affect the relationship and drive partners apart.
If you discover that you feel uneasy whenever your partner is not with you, especially when your partner is hanging out with the opposite sex, it’s a sign that you are in a tumultuous relationship.
You shouldn’t feel the need to constantly monitor your partner in a healthy relationship.
3. Superficial conversations
Really, the perk of a healthy relationship is the intimacy it comes with.
Partners in healthy relationships find it easy to communicate with each other even when they seem to be talking about the most intimate or confidential information.
It is natural to feel safe in a healthy relationship, and if you don’t feel that way, it may just mean that your relationship has a large dose of unhealthiness mixed in.
In a tumultuous relationship, you may find out that you lack any form of deep connection with your partner, and beyond the superficial, you have no form of connection.
You can’t seem to have a proper conversation with your partner because any attempt at a deep conversation will most likely lead to conflict.
If you can’t share deep and significant matters with your partner, there will always be a lack of understanding, and this just proves that your relationship may be a dead-end.
4. Manipulation
This is a very subtle sign, and it is mostly overlooked because what’s the essence of manipulation if the manipulated knows what’s going on?
Manipulation thrives when the manipulated doesn’t realize what is happening, and this is one major sign of toxicity in relationships.
If you are in a relationship with a partner who never seems to be wrong, you are in a turbulent relationship.
Everything you do in the relationship is wrong, and your partner can never go wrong.
Sometimes, it may involve gaslighting.
This is a subtle way of making a person doubt or question their self-worth and mental health.
If you find that your partner’s invariable response to you when you are angry is that you are overreacting, that’s a clear sign of gaslighting in a relationship.
This is also a surefire sign of a tumultuous relationship.
5. Holding grudges
When conflicts occur in healthy relationships, partners learn from past mistakes and forgive each other.
However, if you find yourself gathering “ammo” over a long period to wage war on your partner, it is a sign that you are in a tumultuous relationship because holding grudges is another toxic behavior in a relationship.
Holding on to memories of when your partner hurt you and using them as justification for revenge is wrong.
This triggers a series of actions and reactions.
In fact, this is why a tumultuous relationship is tumultuous.
It is constantly in a state of conflict, with both partners holding grudges and gathering ammo for reprisal attacks on each other.
Resentment can poison your mind and spoil even the best of relationships.
It should be given no place in your relationship.
6. Overt criticism
Criticism of the positive kind is good for a relationship.
It helps partners to discover that there is always room for improvement.
However, one of the major signs of a tumultuous relationship is overt criticism.
If you find that either you or your partner never have anything good to say about each other, it is a sign that your relationship is toxic.
Nothing you do for your partner seems right or appreciated.
If your partner constantly makes you feel like you are unworthy of love, you are in a tumultuous relationship.
Relationships are not meant to be mini warzones with constant sniping between partners.
7. Lack of quality time
The major sign of a working relationship is the willingness of partners to spend quality time together, despite their busy schedules and other pressing matters.
If you discover that you and your partner hardly see each other, it is a sign that something is wrong with your relationship and needs to be fixed urgently.
Your partner no longer prioritizes you and puts their work or even hanging out with friends ahead of the relationship.
Going on dates is an extinct idea where your relationship is concerned because what is the essence of going on a date when you will probably end up fighting over mundane matters like;
How he appeared to be nodding off during the movie
Or how you seem to have been smiling at the handsome waiter a little too much.
If all these are happening in your relationship, it is a sign that you are in a tumultuous relationship.
Final Words
It’s not possible to have a long-term relationship without conflicts.
However, it is important to ensure that your relationship doesn’t turn into a warzone that would rival the situation in, well, fill that in.
If you notice the signs above in your relationship, you need to decide whether you plan to continue in a toxic relationship, end it, or work on whatever issues you are having with your partner.
Whatever your decision is, I hope you choose peace above everything.
Cheers!