For many guys, the possibility of them being manipulated by a girlfriend seems to be an alien idea.
Guys have this belief in their masculinity as a shield against being manipulated, and if they have a friend who is being manipulated by his girlfriend, they sincerely wonder how it ever happened to him.
The thing is, perspective from outside a relationship differs from your perspective in a relationship, and a lot of the things manipulative girlfriends may do to you may look so normal that you don’t even suspect any foul play.
Manipulation is subtle, for the most part, and it takes a critical look at things to truly realize that you are being manipulated.
So, if your friends have been telling you about how they feel your girlfriend has been manipulating you, but you can’t relate to their suspicions, you don’t need to worry about it.
To help you decide if your girlfriend is manipulative or your friends just don’t like the idea of the two of you together, here are 7 signs to look out for in a manipulative girlfriend.
7 Signs Of A Manipulative Girlfriend
1. She scares you
Seriously, love and fear are supposed to be opposite emotions that can’t be felt together.
In a relationship that is full of love, there will be no room for fear.
So, one of the first things to look out for in a manipulative girlfriend is that she inspires fear in you.
If your girlfriend is always trying to make you scared of the consequences if you don’t do what she tells you, then it’s a definite red flag.
Sometimes, a manipulative girlfriend will use fear tactics to get you to do what she wants.
She may threaten to break up with you or spread rumors about you if you don’t do what she says.
This is a form of emotional manipulation and should be taken seriously.
You feel like you are walking on eggshells around her and hence, need to be very careful about your actions.
If you feel this uncomfortable around your girlfriend, then something is wrong somewhere, and you just can’t put your finger on it yet.
2. She coerces you into doing things she wants
Once, you begin to observe this, it means that you have started figuring out why you seem scared around your girlfriend.
Relationships are supposed to be about catering to each other’s needs, however, it seems like your girlfriend’s needs are the only things that matter in your relationship.
If this is the case for you, you may need to start considering that your girlfriend is highly manipulative.
Manipulative girlfriends usually use coercion as a means to get you to do what they want.
They may resort to guilt, threats, or even anger to get you to do things they want.
These techniques can be quite effective in making you feel like whatever it is that she wants is the right thing and that you don’t have much of a choice anyway.
If your girlfriend often coerces you into doing things her way, then this may be a sign of manipulation.
You may also notice that when you have dates with your girlfriend, you only participate in activities that she likes.
For example, you are both on a movie date seeing another corny romance movie that you absolutely dislike, but you realize that you can’t get her to do the same for you.
This may seem petty, but the little things matter as well.
Most of the time, partners can have different hobbies.
In a healthy relationship, both partners are expected to show an inclination to participate in each other’s interests and meet each other halfway.
If you are the only one who seems to be making this effort in your relationship, it is a sign you have a manipulative girlfriend.
3. She always plays the victim
In relationships, there will always be conflicts.
What differentiates a healthy relationship from a toxic one is how it is resolved.
In healthy relationships, conflicts are resolved by both partners talking and working together to find a solution or resolution to the problem.
However, a manipulative girlfriend will most likely want to play the victim card and blame you for everything that goes wrong in the relationship.
She may also use guilt tactics to make you feel bad about yourself and the situation.
Rather than taking responsibility for her actions, she will continue to point fingers and play the victim.
Even when she’s clearly at fault, she refuses to accept and insists that whatever she did was in response to some evil you must have committed.
This is a sign that your relationship has become manipulative and one-sided.
Seriously, it’s draining being in this sort of relationship because it means you have to work twice as hard to resolve conflicts in the relationship.
4. She gaslights you
A manipulative girlfriend has a well-equipped bag of tricks.
To help her fulfill her role as always being the victim of any conflict in the relationship, she gaslights you.
Gaslighting is a form of psychological abuse, and it involves subtle suggestions that make you begin to question your memories and thoughts.
If you bring up a past discussion you had with your girlfriend on an issue, and she insists that it never happened, you are probably being gaslit.
This tactic causes you to doubt yourself and your judgment, and it can be especially damaging to your feelings of self-worth.
Sometimes, it may involve her suggesting that your feelings are irrational or you are overreacting over something small.
If your girlfriend’s response to your anger at her for doing something wrong always goes along the line of “why are you overreacting?”, you are definitely in a relationship with a manipulative girlfriend.
If this is happening in your relationship, it’s time to take a step back and look at the bigger picture.
5. She invades your privacy
Even in relationships, there are boundaries that shouldn’t be crossed.
In a healthy relationship, your partner knows these things and tries to avoid crossing the line.
However, if your girlfriend has little regard for whatever boundaries you have, she may be manipulative.
This could manifest itself in her snooping through your phone, reading emails you haven’t sent to her, or going through your personal items without permission.
If she is doing any of these things, it’s a sign that she might be manipulating you and trying to control you.
It’s important for you to set boundaries with her and make sure she understands that her actions are inappropriate.
6. She always criticizes you
It is common knowledge that a little bit of healthy criticism is not bad for a relationship.
In fact, criticism may help you improve on those aspects that seem to be your weaknesses.
However, if your girlfriend nitpicks and never seems to find any attribute in you that’s worthy of praise, she may just be manipulative.
Instead of appreciating you for who you are, she wants to mold you into her own mold.
Whenever you talk to her, you end up being upset because nothing you do seems to please her.
If you feel this way around your girlfriend, then she is manipulative, and you need to avoid her for the sake of your mental health.
In healthy relationships, partners attempt to lift each other with constructive criticism and sincere appreciation.
7. She is secretive
While every partner has a right to privacy and some time to themselves, this doesn’t excuse secretive behavior.
If your girlfriend is giving off the vibes that she is trying to hide something, it may be a sign that she is doing something terrible she doesn’t want you to know about.
This behavior could mean a lot of things, none of them good, anyway.
For the purpose of this article, she could either be cheating on you or saying derogatory things about you to her friends.
All these are signs of a manipulative girlfriend and do not take place in a healthy relationship.
Final Words
Choosing to ignore all these red flags may end up being fatal for your relationship.
Letting her know how inappropriate her behavior is and how hurt you are by it is a good step towards helping her understand you.
However, if you decide that you are better off being single than in a relationship with a manipulative girlfriend, you have made a great choice as well.
Nobody should have to put up with such behavior in a relationship.
You deserve love in the purest form, champ.