If you suspect your husband is trying to get you to leave him, then it’s safe to say that many things have gone wrong in your marriage.
Your husband wants out but doesn’t want to initiate the separation himself, so he’s doing things to push you to the point where you call it quits yourself.
How do you know when this is happening?
What are the signs?
Well, the signs can vary from one person or marriage to another depending on many factors.
However, they’re usually similar.
You’ll see the following signs if your husband is trying to get you to leave him.
12 Signs Your Husband Is Trying To Get You To Leave Him
1. His affection drops
Affection is one of the major glues that hold a marriage together, so it’s only logical to withdraw it when you’re trying to tear the marriage apart.
You may notice that your husband no longer shows you tenderness and warmth.
He withdraws every form of endearment and begins to treat you like a roommate.
Fondness and mushiness fly out of the window and are replaced by strictness and unnecessary formalities.
This can be a sign that your husband is tired of the marriage and is trying to make you tired, too.
2. He stops doing the things you like
Every husband knows what his wife likes and what she doesn’t fancy.
Sometimes, in marriage, a husband may engage in things his wife dislikes and vice versa because they’re human; it may not mean anything major.
But if a husband begins to consistently do the things his wife finds uncomfortable and unpleasant and stops doing the things she likes, it can be indicative of something bad.
He may be trying to pass a message across to her.
3. Emotional and sexual distance
A husband who’s trying to get his wife to leave him will withdraw emotionally from her.
He is looking for a physical separation, but he knows one of the ways to achieve that is by starting with an emotional distance.
You may observe that your husband has suddenly gone AWOL when it comes to emotional and physical connection.
He withdraws from heart-to-heart conversations and deep chats that you both would ordinarily engage in and doesn’t want to touch you anymore.
These signs can be heartbreaking, but they’re best observed and addressed early.
4. He cheats
Husbands who are trying to get their wives to leave them do so most times by cheating on them.
And boy, does it work!
Although some women still stick with their husbands after infidelity, a lot of husbands know that there is a high chance that their wives will be utterly broken and may even leave if they cheat.
Ordinarily, a good husband will avoid cheating on his wife, so she doesn’t have to leave.
But a husband who is trying to get his wife tired of him will seek emotional and physical intimacy outside his marriage.
He knows that this straw will likely break the camel’s back for you, and that’s what he’s trying to achieve.
5. He relents in his responsibilities
You may suspect your husband is trying to get you to leave him if he stops pulling his weight in the marriage.
Something is wrong when your husband deliberately begins to avoid his responsibilities at home.
When he stops doing his share of the work, he may be trying to let you know that he’s not interested anymore.
He wants you to get the memo and act accordingly.
He may further withdraw the support and help he renders you in other ways, expressing his desire for a separation.
6. He picks a fight randomly
One of the most dramatic and obvious tactics people employ when they’re trying to get their partner to leave them is randomly picking a fight.
It’s always so laughable how they pick on the slightest difference and make it a major issue.
Your husband may be doing this, leaving you confused and wondering what the problem is.
You may observe that you both now have constant arguments, and as much as you’d not want to blame him for them when you think back, he usually initiates all of them.
He’s now fond of picking fights over trivial matters, making negative comments, or being overly critical of you.
His actions are all in a bid to create tension and distance.
7. He becomes nonchalant and stops putting in the work
He doesn’t want the marriage to work, so doing anything to that end would be counterproductive.
He suddenly becomes hardened and acts careless about the marriage.
He no longer cares about your feelings and neglects your marriage.
His communication level drops, and you begin to feel neglected by him.
He ignores your needs and the needs of your marriage, showing unwillingness to do anything to improve your marriage.
All of these signs signal a lack of interest in the partnership.
8. He expresses unhappiness and dissatisfaction
Your husband knows you will feel bad if he shows you that he’s not happy or satisfied with your marriage.
In a normal situation, everyone wants their marriage to work, and a large part of that depends on the happiness and satisfaction of their spouse.
Your husband openly expresses his unhappiness with your marriage and his desire for change, making you see that the future is bleak.
9. Secrecy
Keeping secrets from you is another way your husband may attempt to get you to leave him.
He starts hiding things from you, such as his whereabouts, financial information, plans, etc.
Naturally, you will feel frustrated but may endure for some time.
However, when it gets excessive, it may get to you, and that’s what he is trying to achieve.
10. He resorts to abuse and other forms of sabotage
If your husband has started abusing you physically or emotionally, whether or not he’s trying to get you to leave the marriage, leaving should be the first thing on your mind.
And if you haven’t thought about it yet, then let this blog post open your eyes; your husband probably wants you to leave, and that’s why he’s acting the way he is.
You may observe him doing things deliberately to harm your marriage.
He sabotages your shared goals and undermines the plans you both have together.
He’s pulling all the strings to ensure he breaks ties.
11. He stops sacrificing
If your husband used to go out of his way to make you happy and build your marriage before but suddenly stopped doing all that, it is worth raising an eyebrow at.
An African proverb says that if a dog who used to be excited to see you, wagging its tail and jumping happily, suddenly starts barking at you or attempting to bite you, you need to find out what the issue is because something is very wrong.
Your husband’s sudden unwillingness to compromise on important matters or refusal to find common ground may be an indication of his detachment.
12. Changed behavior
One of the easiest things your husband will do to make you leave him is change.
There were traits you liked in him that made you marry him; all he needs to do is change those traits.
He stops being the kind and sweet man you love and becomes someone else entirely.
The changes depend on the individual because people are different.
Perhaps he has become contemptuous, disrespectful, or even abusive, as we discussed earlier.
Or maybe he’s no longer the present husband or father he used to be; he now spends excessive time away from home without clear reasons.
It could also be engaging in vices and self-destructive behavior, such as smoking, taking harmful substances, neglecting personal health, or engaging in risky activities.
He may even tell you blatantly that he is done with the relationship and wants out.
All of these may reflect a lack of concern for the consequences of his actions on the relationship.
He doesn’t care; he just wants you to leave.
Being a wife in this kind of situation is very difficult.
However, it is crucial to recognize the signs and face your reality immediately.
Letting the changes in your husband’s behavior overwhelm you is not the way out.
A way forward would be to approach the situation carefully, initiate a conversation about it, and make a decision that works for both of you.
Finding a common ground may not be easy, but with a lot of communication and, perhaps, some professional help, you should find one.
A cheater feel guilty, expresses feelings by starting arguments about nothing, inoder to leave.
He then makes his phone calls at a friend’s place so you can’t hear the conversations with the other women. When he stops having sex that’s sign number#1.
A cheater feels guilty, he expresses his feelings by starting arguments about nothing. He then leaves.
Makes his phone calls at a friend’s place so you can’t hear the conversations with the other women. When he stops having sex that’s sign number#1.
Karma comes around in the end. He cheated on me. She cheated on him.
I have always wondered why men play these games and don’t just come out with the truth. It may be devastating to the woman especially if she is oblivious of any real problem. But the mind games they play can undermine her self confidence and mental health. And if there are children they are aware of something but don’t know what and most kids think they have done something for dad to be angry all the time and to stay away. I think some men want their wives to leave so she will be the bad guy and he will get sympathy from others. Especially any new females in the future. He can look forlorn, say his wife left him and gee, has no idea why. Men, please, be grown-up and be honest.
I have reason to believe my husband is cheating on me. We haven’t had sex in years, mainly because of me and menopause’s he also has his credit card bills sent to his job. He has a separate account in Dallas. He also grooms his private parts, but not for me. I don’t see them. He extremely defensive about me asking him anything about him cheating. I can’t live like this. He was on the phone the other morning. I could hear there was a woman on the other end. I ask him who he was talking to, he said his boss. I knew that was not true. I heard him tell her, you going to get to see me. He just lies about it. We have absolutely no communication. He doesn’t want to touch me what so ever. I don’t know what to do!!!