If you’re asking, “What does a married man want in an affair?” this article will provide the answers you seek.
One of the most terrible things you can experience in a relationship or marriage is infidelity.
It’s one of the notorious killers of marriages and relationships.
A lot of opinions about why married men have affairs have been flying around.
Everyone has the tendency to cheat – single, married, old, young, male, and female alike.
The only thing that makes the difference between all of us is self-control and discipline.
It’ll surprise you to know that having an unhappy marriage is not the main reason why married men have affairs.
As I mentioned earlier, lack of discipline and self-control is the primary cause of infidelity.
However, different married men have affairs for different reasons.
As they say, “different strokes for different folks.”
So, now that we’ve established the fact and all accepted that some married men have affairs let’s delve into something else.
We want to look at what these married men who have affairs want from the ladies they have affairs with.
They also have different expectations from these affairs.
Without further ado, let’s see the answers to the question – What does a married man want in an affair?
Enjoy the read!
What Does A Married Man Want In An Affair
1. He wants his needs to be met
One of the things a married man wants in an affair is for his affair partner to meet his needs.
One of the major causes of issues in relationships and marriages is that the needs of one of the partners are not being met well.
A man can feel unsatisfied in some areas despite being happy with his wife generally.
Perhaps they’ve tried as a couple and have been unable to come up with satisfactory ways to meet his needs.
In this case, what he wants in an affair is for his affair partner to meet all his unmet needs from his marriage.
What are these needs, you might be wondering?
It depends on the individual, but generally, they may include wanting to feel desired, appreciated, accepted, respected, and sexually satisfied.
2. He wants to express himself freely
Another thing a married man may want in an affair is the freedom to express himself whenever and however he wants.
Perhaps he feels choked and is not able to express himself as much as he wants in his marriage.
A man like this sees an affair as a chance to dig into parts of himself that he locked away or not experiencing in his marriage.
It’s important to note that exploring himself in parts doesn’t aim to change his personality.
All he wants is the freedom to express himself and encouragement to help him reach into parts of himself that he hasn’t explored yet.
3. He wants to be able to share his fears with someone else
If you’re wondering about what a married man wants in an affair, one of the things he wants is someone who he can share his fears with.
Everyone has fears in different areas of their lives, and we all handle them differently, depending on our levels of experience and the severity of the fear.
However, we tend to handle some of these fears in some ways that cannot be considered healthy as such because we feel we have no other option.
For instance, this married man is the ‘perfect’ husband to his wife and a doting father to his kids.
He is under pressure to fulfill his family’s obligations and keep them happy.
In all of this, no one is taking a closer look at him and showing concern for his well-being.
All he does is give without getting anything in return.
They forget that he’s a human being who has feelings and blood in his veins.
He might start talking to any available person who lends him a listening ear, and it’s usually someone of the opposite gender.
At first, it’ll be harmless and just a case of him unburdening himself to someone else.
One thing will lead to the other eventually, and a full-blown affair is born.
Remember that it all started on the premise of him looking for who to confide in and share his fears with.
4. He wants constant enthusiasm
If there’s something a married man wants in an affair, it’s definitely a constant supply of enthusiasm and excitement.
Generally, humans are drawn to do things they’re not meant to do.
When it comes to having affairs, some married men get into it because of the excitement they derive from doing something that’s wrong.
You know, the thrill of indulging in something bad and not getting caught.
If we’re being honest, you’ll notice that most affairs that started on this premise die a natural death once the enthusiasm is no longer there.
And that’s why most of these men’s affair partners try to step up and be on top of their game every time to remain relevant to them.
In the absence of enthusiasm, the affair ends because it’s the excitement that’s keeping him in the affair.
5. He wants to be spontaneous
The search for spontaneity can drive a married man into having an affair.
In addition to enjoying the enthusiasm and thrill of doing something wrong and getting away with it, as discussed in the fourth point above, a married man can also want to be spontaneous.
Building and maintaining a successful and happy family and marriage requires you to have an arranged life.
That’s what you get when a man is in a happy marriage.
In such a committed and smooth-sailing relationship, it’s expected of him to stick to a particular routine and be reliable always.
Although there are men who crave this kind of lifestyle, there are others who enjoy the opposite.
These ones wear the two-faced mask all in a bid to satisfy their happy family obligations and themselves at the same time – playing the responsible, put-together husband and father on the one hand and the carefree man on the other hand.
Most times, these men hardly marry women whose minds are flexible enough to understand their husband’s cravings and adjust accordingly.
So, he’ll seek his gratification outside his marriage and in the arms of another woman.
6. He wants to boost his self-confidence
One other thing a married man wants in an affair is a boost in his self-confidence.
Perhaps he has been married for so long that he doesn’t know what it feels like to ask another lady out.
He feels unattractive and thinks that his wife is still with him because of the marriage vows.
So he wants to try out his flirting prowess on another lady to see if he still has it in him.
Now, while this is a very selfish reason (well, all the reasons are), it doesn’t make it less of a reason.
He starts an affair just because he wants someone who will be massaging his ego.
Once he’s able to meet the needs of his affair partner and do her bidding, he’ll get whatever he asks for.
Like they say, what you seek is what you’ll get.
Conclusion
You’ve seen some of the things a married man wants in an affair.
Perhaps you’re a married woman, and your husband is having an affair.
With the information in this article, you’ll know some of the things you’re not doing right and how you’re not meeting his needs.
You need to step up where you are lacking.
Most married men sacrifice so much to make their wives and children happy.
The least you can do is give them the peace and understanding they deserve.
That’s not to say that you should keep blaming yourself if he still goes ahead to have an affair after your efforts.
A man who has made up his mind to cheat will cheat.
This time, it’s on him, not you.
Cheating is never about you; it’s about the cheater.
Men even cheat on perfect wives!
All you have to do is do your best and leave the things that you have no control over.
Good luck!